Brohaters Beware

Posted on February 20, 2011 by

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This week two legends tested their bro status with a couple of run-ins with the law. The first was Rick Pitino who reminded everyone that he is more powerful in the state of Kentucky than the Colonel himself. A judge sentenced Karen Sypher to seven years in prison for extortion after she tried to blackmail Pitino over their affair in 2003. Karen forgot  her place, over stepped her bounds and has been bent over once again by Pitino. This incident is like the one with the shit-eating grin guy from the Dark Knight who tries to blackmail Bruce Wayne.

Like Freeman, Pitino acted less worried than Charlie Sheen over people’s claims that he parties too hard and pulled a page out of Sean Connery’s playbook by telling Karen not bring a knife to a gun fight.  Karen thought he had him trapped like the guy from 127 Hours since Pitino is married with five children and the face of one of the nations best college basketball programs. However, Pitino causually admitted to what he did because he knew that this was his state and no one is messing with him in his state. As a result, Karen looked like a huge idiot and has been incarcerated for seven years for trying to take down Louisville’s demi-god. The moral of the story is that Pitino will bang who every he wants whenver he wants in the State of Louisville and if anyone wants to challenge them, they better hope the trial takes place in Massachusettes.

The other Bro King of the Week is Miguel Cabrera. We already knew that Cabrera loved to booze as he was caught drinking on the reg during the 2009 playoff race. Yet, pre-gaming your own ball games is something that has been done by all the best athletes. For example,the Red Sox confessed  that they took shots of Whiskey before Game 4 of the 2004 World Series, Babe Ruth downed beers like Canseco crushed steriods and Ron Artest spent his years with the Bulls hydrating at halftime with some hard liquor. Nevertheless, Cabrera’s antics this week separate himself from all the other wanna-be ballers of the MLB. Pulled over, smoke everywhere and drunk as all hell, Miguel Cabrera refused to go down quietly into the night. When the cop asked Cabrera if he had been drinking, Cabrera took a giant swig from his bottle of scotch and said, “Do you know who I am?” Cheers to you Miguel, let your 38 home runs and .328 batting average do the talking for you because those are numbers you cannot argue against just like his place as boss of the week.

-TK

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Posted in: Pop Culture